


Love Interest HQ

by rainbowflavouredfabulous



Series: much uni au, very group chat fic [2]
Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Group Chat Fic, Multi, Queers galore, b99 references, in-verse reveal of Alfred’s boyf proper, this fic’s only a year late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 05:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavouredfabulous/pseuds/rainbowflavouredfabulous
Summary: emmarino- @god Why do you allow suffering.queen v- morgan freeman up there in the Sky just like “bc bants”NancyNotEliza- are u implying god is a ladAlfieP- I’m getting distinct vibes that he goes to Nando’s every week.EinsZweiDrei- He would so get lemon and herb thats so peakqueen v- fuck you lemon and herb is good at least it doesn’t burn your entire fucking mouth, you batteryless hitachi wand





	Love Interest HQ

**Author's Note:**

> One year late and I’m finally back with a sequel 
> 
> So I finished my first year of uni - general thoughts:  
> \- Professors really aren’t dating material so this verse is majorly inaccurate lmao  
> \- University is simultaneously the most social and the most isolated experience. I was surrounded by people, made quite a number of friends both in lectures, in my flat and in societies but I did miss the camaraderie that school provides based off five years of being with each other. I missed the casual affection shared between lifelong friends and it really didn’t help my depression made a comeback like a shit 90s band  
> \- Just bc you could wake up at 6am for school, doesn’t mean a 9am lecture doesn’t feel like death and regret  
> \- I ate way too much garlic bread when I couldn’t be bothered to make dinner  
> \- If you’re an major introvert like me, find an extrovert friend who will drag you out for dinner when you haven’t gone outside your flat for a week (thanks Mariyah even if I take the piss out of your shopping habits  
> \- Get support when you need it. Without the disability team and counselling and disabled student’s allowance, I’d be much worse off  
> \- And to end this on a lighter note, good outcomes can come out of bad circumstances. Really this should be empowering but what I mean is that I had to miss my German exam thanks to vertiginous migraines and rather than making me do it in the summer, they let me pass based on my coursework results alone. I’d never been so grateful for that email notification 
> 
> Without further ado, I give you more of these meme lords

**queen v**

\- I JUST HAD SEX

\- AND IT FELT SO GOOOOOODD

 

**iliketrains**

\- IT’S BEEN A MONTH STOP ANNOUNCING WHEN YOU HAVE SEX.

 

**queen v**

\- N E V E R

\- come on Albert, me getting dicked isnt the problem. u and ur boyf just need to bone 

 

**iliketrains**

\- What did you say? 

 

**The Governess**

\- Don’t say it again.

 

**queen v**

\- i said you two need to bone

 

**iliketrains**

\- hhhhhhhhhowwwwwww dare you Victoria Alexandrina Strathearn-Kent I aM YOUR YOUNGER COUSIN

\- B O N E

\- Whatever happens in my bedroom is none of your business.

\- BOOOOoooOooOOoooOONE

\- Don’t ever speak to me like that again.

 

**queen v**

\- now that albert’s finished being a meme lovng fuck we can now get back to how great that sex was

 

**AlfieP**

\- Please stop talking about dickings.

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- says the most flamboyant dude in this chat

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- Dude ur pretty flamboyant after enough jaegerbombs 

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- okay so when Gheorghe goes down on Johnny it’s “relevant to the plot line” but when i go down on someone it’s “inappropriate” and “not what club toilets are for” 

 

**queen v**

\- @ShrubsRGr8 pls control ur boyf 

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- I can only control one of them at a time and this deutsch dick doesn’t get that once i’ve exfoliated and put night cream on I’m not going to drag him back home

 

**AlfieP**

\- WAIT WAS THAT GOD’S OWN COUNTRY

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- Y E S 

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- is that the film where i got a snap of some white dudes w/ their entire dicks out 

 

**AlfieP**

\- ,,,

\- Listen. It is art. 

 

**emmarino**

\- it isn’t art if you’re just using it for jerk off material 

 

**AlfieP**

\- Excuse you, I have my boyfriend for that. He’s like a vacuum. 

 

**emmarino**

\- ??????????

 

**AlfieP**

\- Great at sucking.

 

**The Governess**

\- VATER UNSER IM HIMMEL

\- GEHEILIGT WERDE DEIN NAME

 

**iliketrains**

\- Are you ever going to introduce him to the rest of the squad? 

 

**AlfieP**

\- He will never be defiled by this group’s sinning.

 

**queen v**

\- unhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanna know the dude who fucks u so good i swear you’re more chill

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- the magic of a good lay

 

**iliketrains**

\- Shoving your dick in someone repeatedly doesn’t count.

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- 999 THERES BEEN A MURDER

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- lads I just got a text saying that I need to defend his honour

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- THAT WAS

\- P R I V A T E

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- OUR SEX LIFE WOULD BE PRIVATE IF YOU KNEW HOW TO KEEP YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH SHUT

 

**queen v**

\- sis im so sorry for the loss of ur sex life 

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- nah it’s all good, he gives great head.

 

**iliketrains**

\- I’ll add that to the list of things I never needed to know about my brother. 

 

**The Governess**

\- I’m with you on that front.

 

**emmarino**

\- @god Why do you allow suffering. 

 

**queen v**

\- morgan freeman up there in the Sky just like “bc bants” 

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- are u implying god is a lad

 

**AlfieP**

\- I’m getting distinct vibes that he goes to Nando’s every week. 

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- He would so get lemon and herb thats so peak

 

**queen v**

\- fuck you lemon and herb is good at least it doesn’t burn your entire fucking mouth, you batteryless hitachi wand

 

**iliketrains**

-iconic.

\- How was your date with Melbourne? 

 

**The Governess**

\- You really had to ask, didn’t you? 

 

**queen v**

\- IT

\- WAS

-AMAZING

\- we went to Kew Gardens and he taught me all this shit bout flower meanings and other romantic stuff

\- i brought up the whole belgium thing and he was hella chill

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

-wait what.

\- The fuck did I miss???

\- Belgium???? 

 

**queen v**

\- oh yah i forgot to mention

\- Im probs going there for a placement, uncle leopold pulled some strings so im gonna be working at the national archives or some shit 

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- damn that’s some fancy shit goin on there

\- good luck on placement

\- So he took It well???????

 

**queen v**

\- he was so fuccing sweet about it

\- he said he didn’t want to hold me back n that distance might keep up calm with the whole thing plus i have a feelin he’ll feel better about it if im not around whilst he’s still teaching but he said he’ll come visit me and i’ll be back for christmas so we get to kiss under the mistletoe

\- i fuckin love being in love

 

**iliketrains**

\- Gay. 

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- says mr i-got-a-boyf

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- Omg that’s acc so cute tho can we meet him????

 

**iliketrains**

\- I can ask.

\- He has a meeting so he can’t get back to me at the moment.

 

**emmarino**

\- thats so grown up lmao “i have a meeting” my main meeting is with this can of dark fruits 

 

**queen v**

\- the nectar of gods

 

**emmarino**

\- say goodbye to dark fruits now ur in Belgium 

 

**AlfieP**

\- wow can you hear that tiny violin.

 

**queen v**

\- @EinsZweiDrei im counting on you to bring me dark fruits when you go home

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- Im German????? Coburg is home????

 

**The Governess**

\- If someone tells me what dark fruits is, then I’ll bring it to you 

 

**queen v**

\- (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ 

 

**iliketrains**

\- If I have to drag my boyf into this everyone else has to drag their S/O into this franken-group chat. 

 

**queen v**

\- what is this, fucking love interest HQ?????

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- hell yeah now we got Business 

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- how bout i do,,,,, ~anyway~

 

**AlfieP**

\- I see your sneaky plan and I raise this: fuck off 

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- fuck yea my gf loves y’all anyway 

 

_NancyNotEliza has added catolic to LITstory 2k17_

 

**catolic**

\- babe are these all the gays you told me about???? 

 

**AlfieP**

\- Hello, head gay here, welcome to our personal corner of post-grad hell.

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- this is my gf Cleary 

 

**The Governess**

\- Quite an odd name. 

 

**catolic**

\- english people fuck up my first name all the time lmao so i just use my surname 

 

**queen v**

\- what is it??????

 

**catolic**

\- Saoirse

\- and yes, like the actress

 

**queen v**

\- i could go gay for the actress

 

**catolic**

\- Join the club

 

**emmarino**

\- quick question are u a catholic who can’t spell

 

**catolic**

\- nope im a catholic who loves cats

\- In the name of the father the son and my cat

 

**iliketrains**

\- I love you already.

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- hands off youve got a boyf.

 

**catolic**

\- we adopted a cat together I’m pretty sure we’re in a committed relationship 

 

**AlfieP**

\- awwwwww Gay.

 

**queen v**

\- hold ur fuckin horses im not letting you go on this 

 

\- at this rate we’re going to start guessing who this mystery man is 

 

**AlfieP**

\- id like to see you try

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- alexander romanov 

 

**AlfieP**

\- Youre so wrong it’s homophobic

 

**emmarino**

\- That cute guy who worked at lush

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- god he was so dreamy 

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- Hotter than me? 

 

**ShrubsRGr8**

\- easily

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- binch

\- Wb Alberts man? 

 

**iliketrains**

\- Hey quick question

\- What the everloving fuck?

 

**The Governess**

\- is he out of his meeting yet.

 

**iliketrains**

\- Unfortunately yes and now I have to add him. 

 

_iliketrains has added PotatoPeeler to LITstory 2k17_

 

**iliketrains**

\- First off, I’d like to apologise for everything you’ll have to read in this group chat. 

 

**queen v**

\- hey thats not nice you love ur fave cousin

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- Victoria I presume. 

 

**queen v**

\- in the flesh

 

**AlfieP**

\- ROBERT I WILL LITERALLY PAY YOU IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM ANYTHING ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- ???

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- he’s convinced we’d defile him with our group chat sinning

 

**AlfieP**

\- at this point it’s just because it’s annoyingly you all.

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- @PotatoPeeler if you say yes we’ll never find out anything more than his first name

 

**catolic**

\- yah but money

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- I have no clue who anyone is, who in God’s name is everyone?

 

**The Governess**

\- @queen v you started all of this, you ought to introduce everyone 

 

**queen v**

\- can someone play the benny hill theme in the background i feel like we’’ll need it

\- I’m Victoria, cousin to the Coburgs, v in love with my boyf 

 

**iliketrains**

\- WE HEAR ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE ALREADY 

 

**queen v**

\- F U C K

\- O F F

\- You know albert and Ernest already

\- @The Governess is basically my mum in all but blood

\- @emmarino is emma

\- @ShrubsRGr8 is harriet, in open relationship w/ ernest

\- @AlfieP is alfred n we’re tryna find out who his boyf is

\- @NancyNotEliza is nancy, dating @catolic, call her cleary

 

**catolic**

\- y’all wanna hear a funny story??

\- Nancy’s ex is my stepbrother 

 

**queen v**

\- WAIT WHAT

\- FRANCATELLI?!

\- AS IN BIRTHDAY CAKE FRANCATELLI?????

 

**NancyNotEliza**

\- family dinners are awkward af

\- as a bro he’s alright 

 

**emmarino**

\- @queen v add William to this.

 

_queen v has added Rooks PhD to LITstory 2k17_

 

**queen v**

\- PROF M (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ 

 

**Rooks PhD**

\- Well this is unexpected.

 

**queen v**

\- we’ve turned this chat into love interest hq 

 

**Rooks PhD**

\- not sure if I should be honoured or not.

 

**iliketrains**

\- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- Prof M?

 

**AlfieP**

\- He was one of our lecturers at university and they were pining for a g e s but now they’re together 

 

**queen v**

\- yo so i found someone who knows your ur boyf is 

 

**AlfieP**

\- At this point I’ve given up

\- I have no fucks left

\- Look upon the field upon which my fucks grow

\- You will notice it is barren 

 

**emmarino**

\- are you done? 

 

**AlfieP**

\- If I have to be. 

 

_queen v has added minace to LITstory 2k17_

 

**Rooks PhD**

\- I swear this group chat wasn’t always this crowded.

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- I don’t even entirely know what I’m doing here. 

 

**iliketrains**

\- Do not fret, Liebes. 

 

**queen v**

\- @Minace hit us up with the juicy gossip 

 

**Minace**

\- First off, @AlfieP i’m surprised you’ve kept it a secret so long. 

 

**AlfieP**

\- It’s fun watching them get increasingly pissed off w/ me.

 

**Minace**

\- I will say tho that the only reason why i know who he’s dating is bc i walked in on them fucking.

 

**EinsZweiDrei**

\- who was on top??????

 

**AlfieP**

\- stop harassing my dearest Mina.

\- Fuck it

\- I’ll add him

 

_AlfieP has added drummieboyy to LITstory 2k17_

 

**drummieboyy**

\- You finally caved?

 

**AlfieP**

\- you haven’t had to deal with their shit it’s tortuous.

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- Drummond.

 

**drummieboyy**

\- Mr Peel. 

 

**catolic**

\- hmmmmm?

 

**drummieboyy**

\- He’s my boss - we work at the same regional tory group 

 

**iliketrains**

\- @queen v now is not the time to bring up your political inclinations.

 

**Rooks PhD**

\- Ditto.

 

**queen v**

\- did i say anything????????

\- wait so how old are u @PotatoPeeler

 

**PotatoPeeler**

\- 29

 

**emmarino**

\- @iliketrains I can’t believe you have a sugar daddy

 

**AlfieP**

\- Great now I have to kinkshame more people why are y’all so kinky.

 

**drummieboyy**

\- babe that wasn’t what you said last night.

 

_AlfieP has removed drummieboyy from LITstory 2k17_

 

_queen v has added drummieboyy to LITstory 2k17_

__

**queen v**

__

\- SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH 

__

 

__

**AlfieP**

__

\- EDWARD CHARLES DRUMMOND

__

\- DON’T YOU D A R E

__

 

__

**EinsZweiDrei**

__

\- someone get the popcorn

__

 

__

**drummieboyy**

__

\- Don’t pretend you’re some virgin mary I saw what was in that Ann Summers delivery this morning.

__

\- Remember how we got together????

__

 

__

**Rooks PhD**

__

\- I’ll just mute this chat.

__

 

__

**drummieboyy**

__

\- when we first met

__

\- You LITERALLY asked if I had a lighter and when I got it out of my pocket you LITERALLY said

__

\- “How well equipped you are” 

__

 

__

**AlfieP**

__

\- In my defence, I was drunk.

__

 

__

**drummieboyy**

__

\- In my defence, you did blow me literally an hour after I gave you my lighter, bought me shots and proceeded to grind on me 

__

 

__

**AlfieP**

__

\- ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

__

\- It worked tho right

__

 

__

**drummieboyy**

__

\- it did sweetheart <3

__

\- Are you at home right now? 

__

 

__

**AlfieP**

__

\- Wanna come test out what we got in that Ann Summers package? ;) 

__

 

__

**drummieboyy**

__

\- I can be there in 15 xxx

__

 

__

**The Governess**

__

\- Do I want to know what Ann Summers sells? 

__

 

__

**queen v**

__

\- for the sake of everyone’s sanity

__

\- nope

__

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn’t really what I wanted to write but it turned out this way and I hope you all enjoyed it. For anyone who’s curious, both my multichapter fics are still continuing and I hope my next update will be So Take My Hand 
> 
> Endless thanks to all the people commenting and asking if things would be updated or would have a sequel, those really do make my day <3


End file.
